“I’m Not Giving Up A Kidney For Anyone”
My wife was lying in the bed watching TV last week. I had been in the shower, dried off, put my clothes on and was walking out of the bathroom to come to my computer room and write. My wife stopped me and asked me the following question, “Would you give up a kidney for someone?”
Without batting an eye I said, “No way!”
She asked why not! “Wouldn’t you give a kidney to one of your buddies, or a family member, or how about me?”
“I am not giving up a kidney to anyone for any reason at any time,” I told her. She asked why again!!
I figured I needed to at least give her an explanation. So this is what I told my lovely wife, “Look at this body. It is not the picture of health. The way I do things I figure I need all the parts that I have and help from some outside sources like medicines and such. I don’t think anyone would want either of my kidneys to start off with. With that said I am still not going to give up a kidney. I can see it now. I would give someone one of my kidneys. Let’s say it was you, my lovely wife. Then you have two kidneys and now I only have one. About five years down the road I get very sick and would need a kidney. You can’t give me mine back. You need it. So I’d have to wait for a donor kidney to save me. Remember, I only have one now. They would never find a good match for me. I would die a slow and agonizing death while you were doing well with the MY kidney. I would go on and die. You would get all the insurance money. People would sing my praises, my DEAD praises. You would live on with a lot of money and be able to get a young boyfriend to take care of you. All the while I’d be DEAD after dying a slow and agonizing death! They would name a race after me: The Cajunrooster Kidney Scramble. It would raise money for people who needed a kidney transplant. You would be the honorary starter for the race while I’d still be in the cemetery dead. You would be at the race in your fancy dress and Prada shoes with your new young boyfriend while I’d still be dead after dying a slow and agonizing death because they could not find a kidney for me after I gave you one years earlier. So I am going to keep both of my kidneys. I feel I am going to need them.”
